Dangerous Toys

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Dangerous Toys

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This album is awesome!!! The music is excellent, but the singing is the best. Dangerous Toys' lead singer Jason McMaster basically sings about trying to get laid, getting drunk, and committing crimes. None of the lyrics on this album are showcase worthy displays of fine literature... but what great lyrics they are. I am not one to memorize songs, but I can pretty much sing along with the entire album while driving (which distinguishes DT from most other bands). Every song is full of awesome, cheesy, ridiculous, humorous, and/or flat-out memorable content:

- "hey man, I didn't know she was your wife"

- "man I really, really think, really think that I think"

- "even though I'm trouble, kids look up to me"

- "done unreal things, you wouldn't realize...living testament that crime pays"

- "queen of the Nile, love me like an earthquake" (?????)

- "a cloud of dust, a mighty hi-ho silver - 10 boots"

- "sorry bout dem bones in the muddy gutterrrrRRRRRRRRR.....yeahhhhhhhhh"

- "sportin a woody when yur +!++!*$ fly"

...and try using the following lyrics anywhere else:

"Shahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnah...nahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahnahbahbahbah...baby...baby...nahnah. nahnah. nahnah. nahnah... shoobudymamma. Shoobudymamma. Shoobudymamma. Shoobudymamma...nahnah. Nahnah. Nahnah. Nahnah...gyehh gyehh gyehhyeahyeahyeahyeahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dangerous Toys was a Texas band that was part of the second wave of hair metal bands that enjoyed a (brief) bit of fame at the tail end of the `80s. The band took a hard partying, sex-obsessed, barroom rock approach to the Hollywood hair metal formula, and as a result their self-titled debut was a decent-sized hit.

This is a totally fun, totally rockin' album, but man, some of these lyrics are just embarrassing. With songs like "Teas'n Pleas'n" and "Sport'n a Woody" I think Dangerous Toys make the Bulletboys look classy! Still, it's hard not to rock out with some of these songs. "Feels Like a Hammer" and "Outlaw" in particular just flat-out rock. There's a great sense of attitude and swagger, plus of course Jason McMaster's screaming vocals.

Listening to Dangerous Toys is like drinking cheap beer. It's fun for a while, and brings back high school memories, but after a while you know you've got to be killing some brain cells with this stuff.