How to Get Everything You Ever Wanted in Ten Easy Steps

by

The Ordinary Boys

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this record is a fantastic pop album full of clever witty lyrics and great dancable tunes. in my opinion this was by far there best and most fully realized release. i got into the band after they were broken up and im american as well so i have no knowledge of the reality show and i also dont really care when it sounds this good. overall the band sounds like morrissey fronting the the jam (probably one of mozs fantasies) with a bit of the ska and horns left over from brassbound. the four top ten singles aside walking on the fault lines is probably the best on the album lyrically and musically. a song about a man relentlessly pursuing fame. sample lyric " ive been getting drunk and playing with matches, ive been listening to the radio in the bath, ive been crossing mainraods with my eyes closed, my name in lights or my name in stone". a song that seems to get a lot of flak on the album is i luv you which is an ode to old fashioned love songs like the beatles might have played in there very early career. i dont think that people get that the point is to be cliche and sickenly sweet (he doesnt mention phill spector for nothing) and the bird sounds remind me of early morrisssey solo album with all of there animal/wolf howling sounds that stphen street used. this song also makes an interesting break, its in the middle, for the album as it goes from a very dancible track about dancing your problems away to this ,again, old fashioned song before reving back up into a great ska song with lady sovereign guesting. another highlight would be unrequited love affair(and its not fair) in which he sings about being in love with himself but is angry that his lover is never there for him. all in all its a great pop album full of wit and energy. shame they broke up and went off the radar but as preston said it "its so desperately easy to fall out of orbit and now that im out i am so certainly for it" and will be realesing his solo album sometime soon. first single is called dressed to kill and samples the song happy house by the banshees. good stuff

...what can you expect from a band who's name was ripped off from the title of a morissey song...and a lead singer who had to go on to celebrity big brother just to get peoples attention? Yep...this is nothing beyond the unexpected...diluted urine anyone?

...it's not that they can't play their instruments beyond a fourth grade level (doubt they'll get any distinctions though) but their ideas for songs are poor and unoriginal with lyrics like "I love you/you know that don't you?/I love you" you're not going to inspire a poet to write a new sonnet from that...

...another beef I have is that over 50% of these songs are reissued from an old album...obviously the other band memebers didn't think Preston would get so much infamy from the big brother house so they didn't write enough new paper vomit...oh dear...

...now to describe their sound in ten easy steps:

1. Predictable Verse chorus.

2. Singing in fake London accent (how I don't know).

3. Shove a rapper in at one point (he stole the cookies).

4. Boring drumming and bass (hey we're followers mate leave us alone).

5. Go out with Chantelle and storm off never mind the buzzcocks (tee hee that was funny).

6. Four chords.

7. Awful ballad.

8. Claim you're indie when all you want is money.

9. Pretend you're liked by talent when you're actually a vampire.

10. Fake your own death and then say you weren't really a vampire and the killer car told you to do it.

...the last two are the most realistic but I think they all make a good point...stay away...even pop has standards does it not?